


Burn

by francisabernathywontpayhisparkingtickets



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Hux goes the way of his predecessors, M/M, POV Second Person, also it's in, no happy ending, sorry about that, this is basically just TFA from Kylo's perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6251143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/francisabernathywontpayhisparkingtickets/pseuds/francisabernathywontpayhisparkingtickets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Solo is dead. You are nothing, but a monster in a mask.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burn

 

 

You speak to him in whispers. You hope that you’ve hidden him well, that he will not be purged with the light in you. Of course, that is foolish. He is nothing approaching light. You wish he didn’t make you feel so good. You are not good. You were never good enough.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 The girl from Jakku is more powerful than she knows. She sees your weakness and pulls it from you. You know what this should feel like. You’ve had thoughts torn out of you before by Snoke, and Luke Skywalker before him. It shouldn’t feel this kind. She states it plainly, lays the contents of your mind out in the open.

 

“You will never be as strong as Darth Vader.”

 

You can’t bring yourself to deny it.

 

No one can ever know that for a moment on that bridge you considered going home. You can never go home. So, you destroyed the man and you destroyed the boy. You’ve lost count of all the times you’ve destroyed the boy. The man said you were his son. You are nothing, but a monster in a mask.

 

The girl is stronger than you and so, so kind; but, you look into her eyes and know that she is not good. She is no Luke Skywalker. She kicks your ass. Just when you think she’ll put you out of your misery, the world breaks in two. The girl is pulled across a chasm of white snow speckled red. She would have killed you. You would have deserved it. She reminds you of your mother.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Later, you cry. You hate this weakness, but it’s everything that you are; weakness and black tar, drowning out love and light. You are nothing, but a monster in a mask, and you don’t even have that anymore. Lost it somewhere in the turmoil. You cry into the collar of the general’s uniform when he tells you where this ship will take you. You think he must be disgusted by you. His cheek is wet where it presses against your temple.

 

 

* * *

 

 

This is the end of you. You both know it. Hux will die for his failure, and you will die with him. For a moment you remember the girl. Soft eyes behind all that hard power. Snoke would call it weakness, but you know better. After all, you’ve seen weakness, know it intimately. You are made of weakness. The girl is everything you could never be. In another life maybe, but here in this one, the general’s shoulders shake and you steady him with hands that tremble.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You knew he would hate you. He knows who you are now, and as you fly toward the end, he won’t even look at you. Though, when you land, he takes your hand tight in his, and dark eyes meet muddy green ones. When you prod at the edges of his mind, he lets you in.

 

(THIS IS THE END OF ME. YOU ARE THE STRONGEST PERSON I’VE EVER KNOWN. KYLO, I-)

 

And you correct him because this is the end, and you are weak, and there’s no use lying to a dead man.

 

_(Ben)_

 

You can’t say it out loud, but there it is. He must hate you because he looks away and pushes you out of his mind so quickly you’d get whiplash if the force worked that way. It doesn’t.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As his hand falls from yours, you see your father fall again. You will see this forever. You will never stop falling. That’s not so bad. You’ve been falling all your life.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You’ll never see the general again. Snoke finds him in your heart and rips him out. You could never hide anything from Snoke, shouldn’t try.

 

_(Foolish Stupid Weak Weak Weak)_

 

(He is dead because of you.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben Solo died an eternity ago, but you’ve grown up talking to ghosts. So, it doesn’t surprize you when he reemerges in the eyes of your father,

 

_(Falling Falling You Killed Him You Murderer)_

 

(They could never love you now.)

 

in the warmth of your mother, radiating across the galaxy,

 

_(She Hates You She Hates You Always Has)_

 

(You can never go back.)

 

in the strength of the pilot, the bravery of FN-2187, the raw kindness of the girl from Jakku,

 

_(All You Do Is Hurt)_

 

(They are weak. They will be crushed beneath the heel of the First Order.)

 

in the red-haired general and his secret smile, saved for you, only for you.

 

_(He was a liability. He was destroyed.)_

 

(His last thought was BEN. He died screaming.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben Solo is dead. You are wiped clean. You are strong. You are empty of all, but hate, and power, and purpose. Your name is Kylo Ren and you are a Sith, like your grandfather before you.

  
Your name is Kylo Ren and you will watch the galaxy burn.

**Author's Note:**

> So, Kylo Ren is the worst and I hate him and that's why I wrote this for him.
> 
> I'm taking prompts at my Tumblr http://francisabernathysparkingtickets.tumblr.com/
> 
> Hit me up for angsty trash babies.


End file.
